Your desire to protect your children doesn’t override their necessity to be themselves.
Stop trying to force your children into heteronormative boxes and using your motherhood as an excuse.
The only thing your doing by telling your children “stop being so flamboyant, don’t dress so gay, why can’t you be more masculine” is telling them that society is justified in their treatment of your children.
It is not your child’s responsibility to surrender their being for the sake of someone else’s comfort. Especially not the comfort of a stranger.
You’re not making your children safer by demanding they sacrifice who they are for your peace of mind.
Your kid has the right to be as weird or non-weird as they want to be, given that they’re not hurting anyone in the process. Stop trying to convince them otherwise.
I understand your heart is in the right place but all your doing is making things worth.
If you want your child to be safe, then help foster a society that respects their right to exist, stop trying to force them to acclimate to one that doesn’t.
This post will continue to be updated, so if you don’t see anything of use to you, check back to the source or under my Important Posts page. Any resources of these kind that I’ve missed, please reblog with them or message me. This goes for any category you believe you should add, with both financial and social support systems.Decision-making:
- If you’re not ready or able to talk to anyone, Pregnancy Options has a free, printable workbook to help you make a decision
- Backline offers a full range of reproductive counseling and referrals, and the National Abortion Federation provides information on pregnancy and abortion, and support and referrals for abortion services.
- The Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice offers counseling for decision-making, concerns involving abortion, and referrals
- The Abortion Assistance Blog has lists of clinics, abortion funds and people offering rides to/from the clinic, lodging for people traveling a long distance, babysitting, moral support, and referrals
- The Administration for Children & Families has information on adoption
- Here’s a list of adoption lawyers, which you can refine by state
- State Adoption Program Managers
- Knowing how far along you are is important in knowing how much time you have to decide. Ask your local free/low-cost clinic if they perform ultrasounds, or if they can give recommendations. Your nearest Planned Parenthood may offer free or low-cost ultrasounds depending on your income, or provide referrals.
- See if there is a nearby community college or other training site for people studying ultrasound and imaging technology. Sometimes you can get an ultrasound performed for free by students!Giving Birth (also see Health Care):
- See if a doula and/or midwife program in your city or state offers low-cost or volunteer labor and birth support. Here’s a list of volunteer doula programs to start. It’s also possible to negotiate a lower fee with doulas and midwives.
- Operation Special Delivery provides volunteer doula services to those whose military partners have been injured or killed, and those who are or will be deployed or otherwise unable to attend the birth.
- Medicaid may help cover the cost of a birthing center, which provides a safe and comfortable alternative to hospital or home birth. Some birthing centers also offer payment plans.
- There are lots of online checklists for what to bring to the hospital during your labor and birth
- 32 Ways to Save Money During Your Hospital Birth
- You can negotiate with the hospital - what they charge you is WAY more than what it costs them. If you’re paying in cash, they may give you a discount. There are a lot of tips and forums dealing with hospital negotiations online. Here’s one website.
- Look over your insurance options at Healthcare.gov
- Your state’s Medicaid program
- The Affordable Care Act expands insurance and health care options for pregnant people and children, including the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP). You can find local health care centers, services, and information on their page.
- Many Planned Parenthood locations provide general health care at little to no cost, depending on your income
- Nurse-Family Partnership offers free at-home (or another safe place) pregnancy and childcare assistance until your child turns two.
- NeedyMeds is a directory of programs that offer assistance to people who can’t afford their medications or health care.
- Free Dental Care can help you find low-cost or free clinics
- Look for dental and dental hygiene schools if you are comfortable with closely-supervised students
- Your state’s United Way program may sponsor or help you connect with low-cost or free dental careFood:
- Women, Infants and Children (WIC) for food and health care services
- Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP)
- Commodity Supplemental Food Program (CSFP)
- If you’re a Native American living on or near a reservation, apply for Food Distribution on Indian Reservations (FDPIR)
- Find your local food bankHousing:
- The US Department of Housing and Urban Development can help find low-rent housing, and provides vouchers to pay for rent.
- Your state may also have similar rental assistance programs.
- The Homelessness Prevention and Rapid Re-housing Program (HPRP) provides temporary assistance to households that would otherwise become homeless. You can find help through their list of local grantees.
- RentAssistance.us has a database of over 3,000 government and non-profit agencies that offer financial assistance
- Need Help Paying Bills has lists of charities and government and non-government organizations that offer financial help for anything from rent and utilities, to child care and prescription medication.Parenting:
- Backline can connect you to parenting resources
- Your state’s Department of Human Services may have a program to provide low-income, working parents with access to quality, affordable child care
- The US Department of Health and Human Services sponsors the Child Care and Development Fund (CCDF) to both states and Native tribes
- eHow has a step-by-step guide to finding child care assistance through Child Care Aware
- You may be able to find parenting and home ec. classes, baby materials, social support, child care, and other resources through your place of worship
- Many diaper and formula companies offer free samples and opportunities to win packages or cashDisabilities (also see Health Care):
- Search for your state’s Early Childhood Intervention (ECI or EI) services. These services are mandated by Part C of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act.
- If you or your partner are disabled, your child can receive Social Security benefits
- Family Village is a directory of resources on disability rights, social support, information, and merchandise
- Parent to Parent USA is a national organization that matches families with trained volunteer support parents who can connect them to local resources, provide information on health care, and teach coping skills
- The Arc provides services, information, self-advocacy and employment opportunities, and referrals through their local chapters to people with intellectual and developmental disabilitiesDomestic Violence and Sexual Assault:
Please reblog so others have these sources.
- RAINN has both phone and online counseling hotlines to connect you to local rape crisis centers. Centers offer support, counseling, and other resources.
- The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides similar services, as well as safety planning if you are not able or ready to leave
- Helpline has articles and resources on domestic violence
- What to do if your partner refuses to wear a condom
- Find homeless shelters, family shelters, residential treatment centers, transitional housing, and other women’s shelters via Women’s Shelters
- I’ve thought about leaving - how can I do it?
- Your local Planned Parenthood or reproductive health clinic can offer counseling, discreet birth control, and other resources for victims of sexual assault and domestic violence
- Some crisis pregnancy centers/pregnancy resource centers can also provide, or refer you to places that provide help with rent, prenatal and infant care, and basic baby items. Always use caution when contacting CPCs - many exist to dissuade you from abortion, and some may try to convert you, require you to be Christian or take Bible classes to receive help, or practice coercive adoption. Use them as a last resort or get a recommendation from someone who has used their services.